How it’s Going; The 4th Trimester

Cue all the funny but true mom sayings here… mama tried, mama tired, send coffee, send wine, mama needs a nap, I don’t want to sleep like a baby I just want to sleep like my husband, tired as a mother…must I go on.

Let me start by saying that “Mama” is my favorite title and my best look ever. Everything I’m saying in this post is real stuff, its my real life, and I love it and I’m being honest in all my struggles, victories and weird shit I never thought about doing before I had an infant on my hip 24/7. If you are a mama then you know all the stuff I talk about is stuff you’ve done before but don’t want to tell anyone. Ahha but I love it. Its funny, its real, its raw and it’s everything I’ve dreamt about and way, way more.

I think I’m adjusting well, I think this job is hard but it’s the best job I’ve ever had. I try really hard to be the mama housewife, and keep it all together for the family. I try to read a book every day, tummy time, keep the house clean, take care of our 6 animals, cook three meals a day, bathe the baby, do the laundry, get her naps in, and workout to keep my sanity and also bathe myself. Most days I get to it all. And some days I never get out of my pajamas or don’t get to brush my teeth until the afternoon… I swear, you will do weird things to make sure your baby sleeps haha or to get them to stop crying. Like not flushing the toilet because it will wake them or not brushing your teeth because if you move to get out of bed you’ll wake them…so you just lay there…sometimes for hours. Or you bring them in the bathroom with you and if they fall asleep in there you leave them in there and turn the light off…I swear I kind of know what I’m doing, Haha. I’ve gotten really good at multitasking and doing things with one arm…some times just the from the wrist down lol. Shane will even ask how I peanut buttered four pieces of bread while holding the baby…because you married a MF badass that’s how. I will take my small victories where I can get them. I can prepare and cook a whole homemade dinner with one hand y’all, its impressive. I can shower myself and a baby at the same time and wash both our hair and dress us both and no one sheds a tear and as my husband has recently experienced this is not a task to go unrecognized and is harder than it sounds haha. I am a pro.

I’ve done it all in the four months we have been together. From projectile bodily fluids (from both ends) to nursing while making coffee. Moms are super heroes and I’m slowly finding my powers.

I’ve said this before, people ask me how it’s going and how I am adjusting to being a new mom and if my almost 4-month-old human is “good”.

I usually respond with an answer that is appropriate for the person asking, which is just to make them feel more comfortable with asking me such a broad question…like do they really want to know how its going? Should I tell them about how I had to leave a restaurant because I was burping my baby and she pooped and it came out of her leggings and down onto my jeans…no Jesse, they don’t want to hear about that. Should I tell them that I nursed my crying baby and my crying self to sleep a few weeks ago because I was so tired…no Jesse, they don’t want to hear that. What about that every time I sit down to eat it’s like the baby knows and she starts crying and I have to eat my food with one hand and its usually cold…NO JESSE.

What I say back to them is true; it’s just not the whole truth. Radley is an amazing baby, but I don’t know a baby that isn’t a “good” baby. Maybe I have a different understanding of the word “good”. But from what I’ve gathered during my four months of having my baby Earth-side, a “bad” baby cries, and does it at inconvenient times like while out to dinner or shopping for groceries or when you need to do laundry or like sit and be held by your husband…

I mean my baby does all those things but she is pure good. She radiates all the good things about this life.
But she also makes me the mom with the thousand bags of groceries (because grocery shopping sucks with an infant so I try to get it all on one trip) and a screaming baby at checkout, juggling my wallet, my kid and my phone while calling my husband to meet me in the parking lot to help me with the bags because my baby is losing it. HAHAH that’s me folks. But its fun, sometimes I want to pull my hair out but then I just have to look at her sweet face and its all ok, its all going to be OK and we will both live. Even with everyone staring at us wondering what the heck I am doing out or “letting” her scream.

Next time you see a mom with screaming babies just give her a smile or ask her if she needs help because I can assure you the judgey stares and looks are the last thing she needs.

The whole “making others feel comfortable” is something I’m going to let go of too…like people just want to touch your baby and while shopping at Wal-Mart of all places…like I don’t even touch my own face until I’ve washed my hands from being at Wal-Mart. You wouldn’t touch my hands or face without asking me so why would you touch my baby without asking me…I don’t get it. And if you don’t say anything you feel uncomfortable and if you do, the other person thinks you are being rude. But if there is anything having a baby will do, its make you not really care about what other people think. There is literally always going to be someone telling you what to do for your baby because it’s what they did…well listen up mama, THIS IS YOUR BABY and you know what’s best. Just listen to your instincts…they should be kicking in too, every persons vibe you will feel stronger, you watch everything around you, because your number one job is to protect your new baby, your young, its primal and I get it! If you need help or advice, then ask for it, I’ve done it and always get a plethora of responses. People love to give advice, just see what you are drawn too.

Another thing my husband and I heard before we had Radley and soon after is that he will “get his wife back one day” and I suppose in some ways there is space between us but only because of our baby is sleeping there. Radley has brought us so much closer. I think its because we see the best of one another in being parents to her, he really is the best dad. I have fallen more in love with him since having our baby and I feel like for strong couples, babies just make them stronger. He doesn’t have to “get me back” I am always his, and he is always mine. It’s the only way it works. He is the glue that holds me together and I’m his. And together we make the best parents for Rad.

Going into 2019 I am just feeling so grateful for what this year has brought my family and me. We got married, I was pregnant for the majority of the year, we bought our first home, my husband landed himself in his dream career and we brought our baby into the world. Becoming parents has tested us in ways we didn’t expect, but it is so exciting to watch Radley grow and learn new things everyday.

Being Radley’s mom has been the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done and the most challenging. I think about all the things she’ll do and be, and I just see the whole world ahead of her. I just hope she feels how much I love her, because this mama is in love, even with the sleep-less nights and nap-less days.

Hang in there Mamas
They’re only little for a little

XOXO JT