A Letter to the Mamas Who Were Scared

At first I was so scared. So so scared. I had ideas of where this year would take Shane and I. I had career goals, personal training goals, goals of moving back to California, an October wedding to plan….and then poof🤰🏼pregnant… I have dreamed about being a mom since my brother Austin was born and I got to watch my mom being a mom. IMG_0867But I had plans now, I had goals for this year that didn’t include a baby and I thought life had just given me a bunch of lemons when I saw that positive sign, plus I had never felt more “not ready”. I had no health care, Shane and I weren’t in the careers that we wanted to be in, we weren’t in the house that we wanted to raise a family in, we weren’t around our family and we had a wedding to plan. I freaked out. To the floor I went with a crying meltdown. We just weren’t in the places that we thought we would be when we decided to have a baby. But very quickly my husband made it clear that we could do this. All of it. This was what we always had wanted and talked about for 10 years and we would make it all work. And we are. I have never been more excited for anything ever. And she has literally propelled our lives forward in every single way. We have crammed 5 years worth of stuff into these last 7 months. All because of her. All for her. For us. Our tribe. I wrote a note to myself a few days after I found out about her and it said “it’s all going to be ok, make lemonade with the lemons life gives you” and I have looked at that note every..single..day..and very very quickly realized that I was given the ingredients for the best freakin magical powerful lemonade on the planet. Better than anything I have ever had. I was given MAGIC. RESPONSIBILITY. NEW GOALS. NEW PLANS. NEW LOVE. Just when you think life is not going your way or its throwing you a curve ball it actually might be giving you the tools, the ingredients, the fork in the road, or startling push you need to take all the risks you thought were too risky. The doors have not stopped opening since we found out about Radley. And we are walking through all of them. Thank you baby girl, your timing is perfect, we just didn’t know it.

XOXO, a mama who was scared

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